My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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