You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
