I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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