It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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