rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
