I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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