Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
