Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
