I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You can't special order awesome
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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