if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
