I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
