Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
