Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Shame is for Republicans.
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