what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I would fuck him just for his dog
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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