I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Drunk is not a location!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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