shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Farmville is her only friend.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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