i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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