You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
