I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
