on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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