Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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