it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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