Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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