An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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