the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Houston, we have a blender
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
