i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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