i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
