peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
