I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
