I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
