am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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