1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
