i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
we have officially lost it.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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