After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
