he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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