Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
