also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
