I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Found the puke drawer
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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