That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I wear drunk well.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
