hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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