bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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