Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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