Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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