I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
