Can Purell be used as lube?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
