Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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