I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
