There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
