i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
