i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Randomize
