dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
