so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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