So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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