mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
well you can't waste a boner
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
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Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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