you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize