I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
why is half of my head shaved?
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