thus making me awesome and them whores
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize