Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he's gonorrhea incarnate
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
