Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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