I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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