so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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